Un-blog

2017 is happening… like it or not. For the first time I can remember I have received more New Year’s messages expressing helplessness and hopelessness than hopefulness and anticipation. Wow.
Welcome to the land of Endarkenment. A couple of years ago I began exploring the nature of endarkenment. Embracing endarkenment means accepting that necessary transformation will […]

On 14 November  I received a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Sexual Freedom Awards in London. Here’s my acceptance speech: https://youtu.be/9UNC-T-CAEM
Congratulations to all the nominees and winners, especially family members Joseph Kramer, Rowan Bombadil, Jason Tantra, Deej Juventin, and Laura-Doe Harris.

Today is World AIDS Day. Today we remember (as if we could forget) all those we lost in the worst epidemic of our lifetimes. But today is also a day to salute the survivors. People who held their lovers and brothers as they died, all the while living with the constant knowing that they would […]

Acknowledging Our Shadow

Okay, now that we have had a weekend to rest and regroup, it’s time to get to work. Both spiritually and psychologically, individually and nationally, we need to do some shadow work around this nightmare. I had prepared a post on this topic, but then David Harrison sent me this by spiritual teacher […]

Really bad and unjust stuff has happened before. The Vietnam War. Assassinations of great people. Pearl Harbor. 9/11. Stock market crashes. Recessions. Segregation. Lynchings. Mass shootings. AIDS. Hurricanes. Floods. Fires. Earthquakes. And—Really Bad Presidents. You survived. Perhaps you can even say that out of some great tragedy came some gift or opportunity—either personally or socially. […]

12 November 2016

Turn off the news.
Put down your phone.
Get off social media.
Masturbate.
(I think perhaps this should have been Coping Strategy #1)

I began posting ways I found to cope with the emotions of living in the United States this week on Facebook. (I live in New York, which isn’t really the U.S., but it’s close enough, especially this week.) Today is Day #3 Post-The-Unthinkable and I am going to post my strategies here in hopes they might […]

American culture can turn a well-intentioned holiday into a painful knife twist to the soul for anyone who doesn’t fit within the idealized demographic of a perfect family. Nowhere is this more pervasive and obvious than in the ritual observances of Mother’s Day.
Have you ever stood in front of a long rack of Mother’s Day […]

I was invited by the cast and producers of Caitlyn Jenner’s GLAAD-Award-winning reality series I Am Cait to join them in New Orleans to teach them all how to have Gender-Free Orgasms—full-body ecstatic, orgasmic experiences that can be achieved with only breath and imagination. In the process of getting from taping to broadcast, I learned a valuable […]

I read two great articles recently. They both bust myths about what sex “should” be and what it “shouldn’t.” In doing so, they throw open the doors for all the things sex could be.
One of the main reasons I wrote my book Ecstasy is Necessary was to help people understand they they weren’t broken or weird […]