Sex & Spirituality

Non-monogamy. Polyamory. Open Relationships. How do these work? Is it worth the effort? Is there really enough love to go around? Could this be the perfect lifestyle for you?

In this workshop you’ll learn the first steps to opening up an existing relationship, as well as more advanced tips and techniques for dealing with conflict, jealousy, time, and roles. Most importantly, you’ll learn what the complex emotional mix called jealousy means for you and how you can handle it by learning to communicate your needs and limits. You’ll also learn how to discover your own poly style, how to integrate different poly styles into a relationship, and how to create systems to support you through the challenging times.

It is possible to have hot, loving, fulfilling, connected relationships with all our lovers. Come see how it can be possible for you.

Would you like to create a Tantric ritual for you and your beloved but feel overwhelmed and/or clueless? Look no further. In this workshop you’ll learn how easy it can be to create the perfect Tantric ritual.

We’ll cover all the basics—preparing the space, getting present, waking up your sexual energy, connecting with a partner, flying in the orgasmic energy, and basking in the afterglow.

Whether you like your rituals spare and simple or wildly elaborate, you can create both an ecstatic ritual and a ritual space that suits your style—and your schedule.

What’s the difference between a ordinary scene or erotic encounter and a powerful sex magic ritual? In this workshop you’ll learn how to dedicate your sexual energy for the benefit of yourself, your relationship, your community and your world.

You’ll learn how to combine elements from shamanism, tantra, BDSM, paganism and other sex magic traditions with good old fashioned sex and pleasure.

The workshop will end with a group sex magic ritual that will allow you to practice sex magic for a personal desire or cause.

Sex, power and relationships, oh my! All our relationships involve an exchange of power. Some of these exchanges are subtle and unconscious, others are intentional and consensual.

In this participatory workshop we’ll explore the different elements and styles of power exchange in sexual relationships.

We’ll work in pairs using techniques borrowed from Tantra and BDSM, including blindfolds and rope harnesses. As we experiment with consciously polarizing and uniting opposites, we’ll learn how to avoid the traps of falling into assumptions and disappointments about the roles varyingly (and often confusingly) referred to as yin/yang, dominant/submissive, top/bottom, butch/femme, male/female.

You’ll learn how to create your own personalized style of power sharing and discover how the conscious, intentional use of active and receptive energies can amp up the energy in any Tantric ritual or BDSM scene.

In this workshop we will learn and practice a variety of simple ecstatic breath techniques that you can put together to create unlimited erotic possibilities.
Next, we’ll combine breath and intense sensation (aka “good pain”) to explore the vast range of orgasms and ecstatic experiences available when Tantric breathwork meets BDSM.

Finally, you’ll learn how these energy orgasm techniques can be incorporated into whatever kind of sex and play you enjoy.

Breath is your greatest source of energy and aliveness. It can produce so much pleasure, it will amaze you.

Once you become familiar with moving erotic energy around with your breath, you’ll find all your erotic encounters to be much more fulfilling. Your orgasms will be longer and deeper. You will share a more authentically intimate connection with a partner. You’ll even find yourself using breath techniques in non-erotic situations to bring erotic energy to more and more areas of your life.

In this workshop we will learn and practice a variety of simple breath techniques that you can put together to create unlimited erotic possibilities. Then we’ll put them together to explore the the vast range of orgasms which lie beyond those achieved by genital stimulation. Finally, we’ll practice energy orgasm techniques that you’ll be able to incorporate into whatever kind of sex and play you enjoy.

Energy play. What is it? What does it look like? How does it feel? How do you do it?

In this workshop we’ll explore the subtle and profound impact of bringing energetic awareness into whatever type of play you currently enjoy.

There is nothing mysterious about energy. You’ll learn how to spot it, grab it, play with it, control it, and use it to take your scenes from delightful to mindblowing.

Whether you are a novice or experienced in BDSM, adding energy play will deepen your connection and add intensity to your scene.

This class is designed primarily for people new to energy play, but all are welcome to come and play.

The Erotic Awakening Massage is a completely new kind of sexual experience which can take you to new heights and lengths of pleasure.

In this workshop—which can be presented as either a demonstration or a participatory workshop—you’ll learn how this unique combination of conscious breathing, sensual massage, specific genital massage strokes (imagine genital reflexology) and energy orgasm techniques can:

• help women become multi-orgasmic (or more multi-orgasmic)
• create greater intimacy between you and a partner
• release toxins and heal past sexual traumas
• take you deeper into yourself while stretching the limits of who you think you are
• unite your sexuality and your spirituality

The Erotic Awakening Massage is a completely new kind of sexual experience which can take you to new heights and lengths of pleasure. In this In this workshop—which can be presented as either a demonstration or a participatory workshop— you’ll learn how this unique combination of conscious breathing, sensual massage, specific genital massage strokes (imagine genital reflexology) and energy orgasm techniques can:

• help men learn to orgasm without ejaculation
• create greater intimacy between you and a partner
• release toxins and heal past sexual traumas
• take you deeper into yourself while stretching the limits of who you think you are
• unite your sexuality and your spirituality

The Erotic Awakening Massage is a completely new kind of sexual experience. In this unique workshop you’ll learn how the combination of conscious breathing, sensual massage, specific genital massage strokes and energy orgasm techniques can:

• take you to new heights and lengths of pleasure
• help men learn to orgasm without ejaculation
• help women become multi-orgasmic
• create greater intimacy between you and a partner
• release toxins and heal past sexual traumas
• take you deeper into yourself while stretching the limits of who you think you are
• unite your sexuality and your spirituality.

There are two styles of Erotic Awakening Massage: one for people with pussies and one for people with penises. In the course of the workshop, everyone will be taught how to give and receive both styles. You will then have the opportunity to give a massage and to receive a massage. Not only will you learn the secrets for giving and receiving a body-melting, mind-altering sensual and erotic massage, you will also learn how the use of conscious breath and energy work can transform the massage experience into a completely new sexual and spiritual experience.

This workshop is appropriate for people at all stages of their sexual evolution. The only requirement is a commitment to growth, awareness and the discovery of your unlimited potential as a sexual/spiritual being. All genders, sexual orientations and preferences are welcome. We will be working in pairs, so you may wish to attend with someone you want to work with. Solo attendees will be paired up (consensually, of course) at the workshop.

Safer sex practices will be strictly adhered to.

In this workshop you’ll learn the secrets to giving and receiving exquisite touch. Conscious touch, combined with conscious breath, can transform any erotic encounter into a dramatic, profound and intensely pleasurable sexual and sacred experience.

Whether your preferred style of touch is soft and sensual or fierce and ferocious, conscious touch can expand your concept of gender roles, help you transcend fears of intimacy, and enable you to build and share enormous amounts of sexual and spiritual energy and power. Come and learn how to transform your touch into an energetic exchange of love and bliss.

Imagine the relaxation of a sensual massage combined with the thrill of fireplay. In this workshop you will learn how the sensuous use of fire can transform a sensual massage into a trance-inducing journey into bliss.

Barbara will demonstrate four secrets of exquisite touch as well as the basic techniques of fireplay. She will then demonstrate how her unique combination of fire, conscious breath and sensual massage can create a dramatic, profound and intensely pleasurable sexual and sacred experience.

Technique, safety, and sensual/art/erotic applications will be covered. Even if you might think that fireplay is not your thing, you may be surprised by the sensual beauty and artistry of the dance of the flame.

Fire has been at the center of ritual practices for millennia. In this participatory workshop we’ll go beyond the passive observance of fire in ritual space to something more personal and evocative. You’ll learn basic fireplay techniques and safety precautions. You’ll get to make your own small torch and play with the flame—as much or as little as you are comfortable with. Then we will experiment with the use of fire as a pathway into transcended states of consciousness.

You’ll learn how fire and fireplay can support shamanic journeys, as well as be a powerful sensual support in Tantric, S/M, and Pagan rituals. You’ll leave this class with a new personal relationship with, and appreciation for, the power of the flame.

Would you like to present at sexuality and BDSM events but don’t feel ready, capable or brave enough? Are you unsure of how to present your material or even unsure if you have anything new to say? Or maybe you already are a presenter and looking for that next inspiration or challenge.

In this workshop I’ll show you how to turn your passions and skills into a compelling and exciting workshop presentation that will enlighten and inspire at any erotic event.

Could it really be possible to have an orgasm with your clothes on and without touching yourself or being touched by anyone else? Can you really reach ecstasy simply by breathing? Can gender really be irrelevant when it comes to orgasm?

This evening we’ll explore the unlimited, ungendered possibilities of orgasm, specifically, the vast range of orgasms that lie beyond those achieved by genital stimulation. Using Tantric and Taoist techniques to move sexual energy throughout the body, we will experience the playful, powerful and transformative power of breath and pleasure. Although this is a participatory workshop, here will be no nudity and you will not be asked to work with a partner.

This workshop/discussion group is for anyone who is interested in creating better, juicier, more intense and transformative erotic events. We’ll discuss the importance of conscious intention, group dynamics, physical and emotional safety, relationship-protective strategies, structure and scheduling, plus much much more. Come and share your expertise, preferences, techniques, styles, rules, hopes and fears.

Bring your questions and concerns and let us assist you in creating a sex ritual/party that will be a thrilling success for both you and your guests. This workshop is open to everyone—from party novices to party professionals.

Have you ever had a scene or erotic encounter that lifted you out of mundane reality and set you free to fly into the realms of bliss? You may not know what happened or how it happened, but you’re longing to get back there again. In this participatory workshop we’ll explore activities and techniques that are guaranteed to raise the energy you need to achieve transcendent, ecstatic, spiritual, magical states on a regular basis.

You’ll learn the vocabulary and the skills to ignite ecstatic energy, move it through your body and mind, and ride it—alone or with a partner—for a long, long time.

What happens when you combine Tantric and Taoist techniques for building and sharing sexual energy with conscious power exchange and intense sensation? In this participatory workshop we will gleefully push and pervert Tantra into ecstatic new realms.

You’ll learn how to combine the heart-filled, spiritually energizing techniques of Tantra with the intense stimulation and heightened awareness of SM and you’ll have the opportunity to find the blend you like best. You’ll learn:

• how to fly into ecstatic, timeless states of consciousness,
• how to create your own personal container of breath, safety and comfort,
• techniques for traveling longer and further, plus
• necessary skills for safe landings back on earth.

You’ll also get to play with some rope and get and/or give some intense sensation.

Could it really be possible to have an orgasm with your clothes on and without touching yourself or being touched by anyone else? Can you really reach ecstasy simply by breathing?

This evening we’ll explore the unlimited possibilities of orgasm, particularly the vast range of orgasms that lie beyond those achieved by genital stimulation. Using Tantric and Taoist techniques to move sexual energy throughout the body, we will experience the playful, powerful and transformative power of breath and pleasure.
This is a perfect evening for those who:

• have never had an orgasm,
• have always longed for “something more”,
• want to unite their sexuality with their spirituality,
• want to get the most out of their sexuality when they do not have a sex partner,
• want to enhance sensation in BDSM play, and/or
• want extended, more full-bodied orgasms.

What is Tantra and what does it have to offer the LGBTQ community? Barbara Carrellas’ book, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century is the first queer-friendly approach to Tantra. Urban Tantra embraces and celebrates all forms of gender presentation, sexual expression and sexual preferences.

Tantra is often misunderstood as couples therapy for white, heterosexual, middle-aged, middle-class, apolitical, woo-woo, New Age, workshop junkies. Not true! Tantra is an active, embodied spirituality that embraces and empowers everyone in all aspects of life, including the sexual and political. The ancient practice of Tantra was once considered a supremely revolutionary act. It can be equally revolutionary today in the face of the current cultural rise of fundamentalist sex and gender politics.

In this lecture/discussion/workshop you’ll find out why Tantra is an inherently queer form of sacred sex and how it can help you define, expand and deepen your own personal, unique, queer erotic journey.

Sexual energy is a physical force that we can activate, build, ride, magnify, shape, use, and—to some extent—control. Simple techniques such as breath, laughter, sound, movement, ritual, presence, and conscious connection can expand our concept of gender roles, help us transcend fears of intimacy, keep relationships vibrant and loving and change the patterns that lead us into dysfunctional relationships.

Once you’ve learned a few basic techniques, you can put them together to create unlimited erotic possibilities. You’ll learn to combine the heart-filled, spiritually energizing techniques of Tantra and Tao with the intense stimulation and heightened awareness of SM. You’ll have a chance to find the blend you like best.

We practice sex magic when we consciously use our sexual energy to fuel our hopes, dreams and desires. Sex magic is the art of transforming real but invisible sexual energy into real and visible results. You can dedicate your sexual energy for the benefit of yourself, your community and your world.

In this workshop you’ll practice techniques that will enable you to unite your sexual power with the power of your desires. You’ll learn how to use sex magic for healing (yourself and others), to alleviate pain and fear, to soothe emotional wounds, to practice forgiveness, to to increase business, to empower social causes, and even to come to terms with death. The workshop will end with a sex magic meditation that will allow you to practice sex magic for a personal desire or cause.

Sex magic is the art of transforming real but invisible sexual energy into real and visible results. You can dedicate your sexual energy for the benefit of yourself, your relationship, your community and your world. In this workshop you’ll practice Tantric techniques that will enable you to unite your sexual power with the power of your partner(s) to manifest your desires.

You’ll learn how to use sex magic for healing (yourself and others), to alleviate pain and fear, to soothe emotional wounds, to practice forgiveness, to strengthen your relationship, to empower a business or a social cause, and even to come to terms with death. The workshop will end with a sex magic meditation that will allow you to practice sex magic for a personal desire or cause.

This evening we’ll explore the ecstatic potential of conscious erotic power exchange. All our relationships involve an exchange of power. Some of these exchanges are subtle and unconscious, others are intentional and consensual.

Using techniques borrowed from both Tantra and BDSM, you’ll learn how to create your own personalized style of power sharing and discover how the conscious, intentional use of active and receptive energies can amp up the energy in any style of erotic relating.

How far can you go? How far should you go—and for how long? Do you hold yourself back from exploring all the pleasure and ecstasy you’d like? Or do you all too often find yourself going too far—again? How do we push ourselves to our erotic, ecstatic limits without burning ourselves out or injuring our bodies and spirits? In this workshop we’ll discuss and practice techniques to keep ourselves at the resilient edge of our erotic edges—that perfect place where ecstasy flows and our possibilities expand.

In this workshop, you’ll learn how simple Tantric techniques such as breath, laughter, ritual, presence, and conscious connection can be included in a BDSM scene to intensify pleasure and expand consciousness. Barbara will explain why Tantra and BDSM—both energy-focused sexual paths—are more similar than you may think.

She will also answer your individual questions about how Tantric techniques can take your scene to the next level. Although this is not an introductory BDSM workshop, it will provide people who are new to BDSM with a powerful introduction to the energetic and ecstatic possibilities of BDSM.

In this participatory workshop we’ll explore intense sensation in altered states of consciousness. Using Tantric and Taoist techniques of expanded orgasm, paired with intense sensation from SM, you’ll learn how to fly into ecstatic, timeless states of consciousness.

You’ll learn how to create your own personal container of breath, safety and comfort, techniques for traveling longer and further, plus necessary skills for safe landings back on earth.

The secret to unlocking unlimited sex possibilities is knowing what you really really want. In this workshop you’ll learn how your desires are shaped by your beliefs, values, need and preferences. You’ll gain insight as to why you have made certain choices about sex and relationships in the past, and decide what and how you want to change going forward. Best of all, you’ll learn a simple system that will help you to periodically reassess your needs and desires, so you will always be able to choose which of the infinite possibilities of sex and relationship are right for you.

What is Tantra and what does it have to offer the LGBTQ community?

Tantra is often misunderstood as couples therapy for white, heterosexual, middle-aged, middle-class, apolitical, woo-woo, New Age, workshop junkies. Not true! Tantra is an active, embodied spirituality that embraces and empowers everyone in all aspects of life—including the sexual.

In this workshop, you’ll learn Tantric techniques for intense full-bodied orgasms, amazingly deep, heart-centered connections (with a partner or with yourself), and the bliss that comes when your spiritual and sexual paths are one. You’ll learn how to avoid the traps of falling into assumptions and disappointments about the roles varyingly (and often confusingly) referred to as yin/yang, dominant/submissive, top/bottom, butch/femme, male/female. You’ll also learn how to create your own personalized style of power sharing and discover how the conscious, intentional use of active and receptive energies can amp up the energy in any erotic situation.

Barbara developed Urban Tantra as an approach to sacred sexuality that adapts and blends conscious sex practices ranging from Tantra and Tao to BDSM. The result is a hot and healing brand of sex for the 21st century sensualist.

On the Tantric path, pleasure, vision and ecstasy are celebrated rather than repressed. In other words, when other spiritual practices say no, Tantra says a great big YES. Tantra is not only a sexual practice, it also is a sensuous way of life and path to spiritual growth. In this workshop, you’ll learn Tantric techniques for intense full-bodied orgasms, amazingly deep, heart-centered connections (with a partner or with yourself), and the bliss that comes when your spiritual and sexual paths are one.

We’ll practice techniques and exercises that can help you to:

• Discover your top ten turn-ons
• Open your senses and develop your sensuality
• Unleash your orgasmic energy
• Attract your ideal lover
• Create and practice self love
• Celebrate pleasure, vision and ecstasy

We’ll also focus on ecstatic techniques for empowering relationships. We will practice exercises and positions designed to show you how to:

• Harmonize and circulate sexual energy with a partner
• Transcend fears of intimacy
• Discover new heights and depths of orgasm
• Keep relationships vibrant and loving.

Urban Tantra® is an approach to sacred sexuality that adapts and blends conscious sexuality practices from Tantra to S/M into a hot and healing brand of sex for the 21st century sensualist.

In this workshop you’ll learn Tantric techniques for building and sharing sexual energy with a partner. Simple techniques such as breath, laughter, ritual, movement, and conscious touch can expand our concept of gender roles, help us transcend fears of intimacy, and enable us to build and share enormous amounts of sexual and spiritual energy and power.

You’ll learn how to combine the heart-filled, spiritually energizing techniques of Tantra and Tao with the intense stimulation and heightened awareness of SM. You’ll have the opportunity to find the blend you like best. Whether you’re Pagan and/or polyamorous, sadist and/or sensualist, transgender and/or transcendentalist, you’ll be able to adapt these Tantric and Taoist pleasure techniques to your unique lifestyle.

What do you do when, despite your best laid plans, everything goes wrong? We all have our horror stories and agonizing memories of a scene that went out of control-or went nowhere. Those nights that the sparks didn’t fly, the kundalini didn’t rise-and of course-that awful time you feel asleep at just the wrong moment.

In this workshop you’ll learn how to turn unpleasant surprises into opportunities for healing, intimacy and transformation. You’ll also have an opportunity to participate in a mutually supportive discussion where you will see that everyone makes mistakes and how everyone can survive them and thrive.

In this one-day workshop for women, you’ll discover how to reclaim your sexual power as your life force energy. You’ll learn to use that power and energy to transform your spiritual life, your health, and all your relationships-both intimate and professional.
In the morning we’ll explore our greatest source of energy and aliveness: our breath. Conscious breathing can produce so much pleasure, it will amaze you. Once you become familiar with moving erotic energy around with your breath, you’ll find all your encounters and relationships to be much more fulfilling. You will share a more authentically intimate connection with a lover. You’ll feel more present and more alive in everything you do.

Next we’ll use the breath to explore orgasm, particularly the vast range of orgasms that lie beyond those reached by genital stimulation. Could it really be possible to have an orgasm with your clothes on and without touching yourself or being touched by anyone else? Can you reach ecstasy simply by breathing? Using Tantric and Taoist techniques to move sexual energy throughout the body, we will experience the playful, powerful and transformative power of breath and pleasure.

Finally, we’ll explore power itself through the lens of the erotic. All our relationships involve an exchange of power. Some of these exchanges are subtle and unconscious, others are intentional and consensual. Using techniques borrowed from both Tantra and BDSM, you’ll learn how to create your own personalized style of power sharing and discover how the conscious, intentional use of active and receptive energies can amp up the energy in any style of erotic relating. Plus, you’ll come to understand how you can transform all your relationships into exchanges of power-sharing instead of power-over.

There will be no nudity. Personal boundaries are always respected. This workshop is open to women of all sexual preferences.

Have you ever felt limited by the socially accepted definitions of “Man” and “Woman”? Do you find that a label like “heterosexual”, “lesbian”, “gay” or “bisexual” only begins to describe your sexual identity? Have you ever hidden away parts of yourself in order to fit into a relationship, a job, a school, a community, or a religion? Would you like to experience a gender-free orgasm?

Kate Bornstein and Barbara Carrellas live, love, work and make art outside the boundaries of traditional gender and sexual identities. Kate is the author of Gender Outlaw, My Gender Workbook, and Hello Cruel World, and is a highly acclaimed performance artist. She was born a boy, grew into a man, became a woman and now considers herself none of the above. Barbara Carrellas is the author of Urban Tantra and Luxurious Loving. Barbara is an internationally acclaimed sex educator, the founder of Urban Tantra® and the co-founder of Erotic Awakening, a pioneering series of workshops focusing on the physical, spiritual and healing powers of sex. Barbara has identified as heterosexual, bisexual, lesbian, gay, pansexual, omnisexual and just plain queer. She now considers herself all of the above… for starters.

Barbara and Kate invite you to join them in exploring the power, pleasures and possibilities of fluid gender and sexual identities. After a brief and informative talk that lays out the differences (and similarities) of gender and sexual identities, we’ll:

• examine our own and society’s definitions of a “real man” and a “real woman
• explore the erotic possibilities of “genderlessness”
• learn real skills to help you welcome a new, self-defined identity and say goodbye to the identities you’ve outgrown.

Throughout the workshop we’ll encourage laughter wherever and whenever we can; because, let’s face it: sex and gender can be pretty funny!

In this weekend workshop we explode the myths and embrace the power of SM, gender journeying and Tantra.

If you are curious about the ecstatic possibilities of Tantra and other energy-focused sexual paths, but have felt too queer, too gender-queer, too kinky, too slutty, or too down-to-earth to feel comfortable in traditional Tantra groups, you’ll love this weekend. Persons of all genders and lovers of all stripes are welcome.

What is/are your gender(s)? Your partners’ gender(s)? Do you really have to choose only one? We’ll look at what gender is and what it isn’t, and then find new ways to express it, pervert it and play with it. Next, we’ll explore sexual energy as a physical force that you can activate, build, shape, and ride to amplify all your erotic encounters. We’ll end our first day with a shared journey, as we intertwine our experience of masculine and feminine and both and neither into a big ecstatic circle of breath.

On Sunday, we’ll explore the different elements and styles of energy-sharing and power exchange in sexual relationships. Using techniques from Tantra and BDSM, and the occasional bit of rope, we’ll experiment with consciously polarizing and uniting opposites: active and receptive, masculine and feminine, power and helplessness. Is it true that the further apart we polarize our roles, the hotter the spark that bridges the gap? Let’s find out!