Catherine Carter: 7 November 1961 – 8 April 2019: A Tribute

I am celebrating the life of my dear friend and original Urban Tantra co-conspirator, Catherine Carter, who died of a brain tumor on 8 April after living a huge, love-filled life and an equally huge, love-filled death, surround by countless expressions of love and devotion from near and far.

Cath was one of the founders of Urban Tantra. Hayley Caspers brought her onto the team back in the early 90’s when the team was just Chester Mainard, Hayley and me. Yamini, Cyndi Darnell and Jenny Navarro joined soon after and we became family—bonded by a love of transcendent, grounded, sacred silliness, and a willingness to show up everywhere and anywhere a group might gather to join us in our mad, passionate quest to know the secrets that revealed themselves in the throes of erotic trance.

Cath was the bedrock of our support system. Cath was there when a dozen massage tables had to be schlepped across Australia and set up on a day’s notice. She was there to lead the sweep up after a weekend of people flinging cornflour all over each other. She was there at stupid o’clock in the morning or in the middle of the night when a participant needed support processing a suddenly triggered trauma or a life-altering revelation. She was there to listen and advise Chester and me in the midst of an intensive workshop when we were so far out on a limb that we couldn’t find our way out of the trees. She was there to channel the rage and grief of the Maori ancestors after the Tasmanian massacre. She was always there. Solid, strong, shining.

Cath was there when I wanted to spend my 50th birthday retracing the steps of the queens of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. Cath, Hayley, Kate and I drove 2,730 km from Adelaide to Alice Springs in a camper van decorated by Cath with boas and glitter and goddesses, stopping each night to celebrate the great Australian night sky (and be gifted with one of Cath’s brilliant astrology readings,) and waking each morning to a birthday ritual that Cath had prepared especially for me.

Today I celebrate with tears and joy the reunion of Catherine Carter with her soulmate, Chester Mainard. They were such twin flames that it doesn’t even surprise me all that much that they both died of the same cancer (glioblastomas), twelve years apart. Their relationship sometimes confused them, but it was never confusing to those of us who knew and loved them. They were twin spirits. My theory is that they were one soul energy that divided into two for this past incarnation. They were born on opposite sides of the world but with one intention—to spread joy, healing, and spiritual growth through pleasure and conscious sexuality. They both often hid their genius, but never their spirits, their love and their wisdom, which was as ancient as the ancestors they channelled.

Thank you, Cath, my beloved friend, for all your years of love and service. Thank you for being earth and soul family. Thank you for all those death lessons—both decades ago and in these past two years. Thank you for all the life lessons, too. Please give Cheeky Chester a kiss from me. Till we meet again… <3