• Conscious Sexuality and Gender

    Today we have a guest post by my friend and colleague, Artemisia de Vine, conscious sex worker, kink practitioner and author of the upcoming book, “Lessons from a Whore”. www.consciouseroticarts.com and www.consciouskink.com. Artemesia and other graduate members of the Urban Tantra® Professional Training Program frequently discuss the practical applications of seeing  gender beyond the binary of masculine/feminine. Here Artemesia shares her recent “Ah hah!” moment. I think it’s beautifully stated. Thanks, Artemesia!

    So excited that I was finally able to articulate something that is so important to me. Funny how I can instinctively know something for years but just can’t put it in words…so I get all frustrated and hot under the collar because I know it really matters but can’t communicate it properly, even to myself. I can just feel that damage is being done and it needs to change. Suddenly it is so simple and I can just say it.

    Worshipping the gender binaries of masculine and feminine encourages us all to project stereotypes onto each other rather than be present and truly see, experience and connect with ourselves and each other. Today I’m making the effort to approach each individual person as a unique being I know nothing about and allow them to unfold in front of me like the exquisite mystery they are.

    Yes there will likely be recognizable gendered patterns that emerge but the difference is, I will allow them to emerge naturally rather than assume they are there in the first place. That way I won’t miss the times when they are not there. I won’t be blind to the unique combination of characteristics in each person. I will unconsciously assume power dynamics less often…

    Feeling into myself in each moment and experiencing what is… What’s there beyond gendered boxes? The words “masculine” and “feminine” are being banned from my vocabulary today so I can see and be beyond them.

  • “Thinking Off”

    “Thinking Off” or How to Have a Breath and Energy Orgasm

    If you are one of the many people who saw my segment, “Unusual Orgasms” on the Learning Channel’s Strange Sex show, welcome! Here are answers to some of your frequently asked questions:

    1. I do not use the term “thinking off.”
    “Thinking off” is the term the producers of the show wanted to use, but that term is much too limiting. Non-genitally based orgasms are achieved by different people in different ways, but very few people use only their minds to achieve these orgasms. The kind of orgasms you saw me and my workshop participants have on Strange Sex were achieved with a combination of breath, imagining (either by visualization or sensory feelings), sound, and squeezing the muscles of the pelvic floor. Sound complicated? It’s not really. It just takes a little practice.

    2. How can I learn to “think off”?
    Subscribe to my newsletter! You’ll get two free gifts, including “How To Have An Energy Orgasm”. You can more detailed instructions and additional ways to have a breath and energy orgasm in my book, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. There is an entire section devoted to breath and energy orgasms. I am also in the process of recording a step-by-step CD guide to accompany the breath and energy orgasm section of the book. Sign up for my newsletter and you will be among the first to hear when it’s finished. I also teach the technique in many of my workshops. Check out my calendar of events to find out where I will be when.

    "Thinking Off"3. I have spinal nerve damage and I can’t have regular orgasms. Can I have one with this technique?
    Yes! The technique can also be used by people with erectile dysfunction, women who have had clitorectomies, and anyone with a physical condition that makes genital orgasms difficult or impossible.

    4. I missed the show. Will it be on again?
    Yes! It’s being rerun fairly regularly. Visit the Learning Channel for the schedule.

    5. Where else can I learn about “thinking off”?
    Watch this video of Barbara talking to Joy Behar about “thinking off.”

    Questions? Want to host a breath and energy orgasm workshop in your town?

    Contact me at info@urbantantra.org.