• A Survey of How Trans Women, Trans Men and People of Non-Binary Gender Experience Their Genitals

    Please help me make sex education more inclusive of trans bodies and trans sexualities. Please take my survey and/or invite others to take it. It’s important and it’s fun!


    Who is invited to take this survey?

    Anyone who identifies as a trans woman, trans man, non-binary, genderqueer, or in any way agender or gender non-conforming.

    Why are you asking me about my genitals?

    I realize this might seem forward. Some people may not want to talk about their genitals. If this is you, just close this browser window and forget I asked. But if you are willing to tell me (anonymously, of course) a bit about how you experience your bits, it will help me gather information that can be helpful to the trans community in several ways. My intentions are:

    1) First and foremost, to spark respectful, honest, thoughtful conversations among trans people (and their partners, lovers and playmates) about trans sexuality—conversations that are both empowering and loving.

    2) To encourage scientific and sociological studies about how trans genitals and sexuality work, and how trans people experience their bodies, genitals and sexuality over their lifetimes. Further, I want to encourage explorations and conversations free of titillation, morbid curiosity, biological essentialism, or categorization.

    3) Shame reduction. You don’t have to be trans to experience shame about your body or your sexuality. But being trans does open the door to levels of shame unique to this community. Realizing that you are not alone or weird is one of the most effective shame-reducing strategies. Sharing the results of this survey will help with this.

    4) To empower and assist trans people to create better relationships—amongst themselves, and with lovers and care providers—by making it easier to talk about this stuff.

    5) To provide bodyworkers and somatic sex educators with information they need to work more knowledgeably with trans bodies. 

    Who am I to be asking all this?

    I am Barbara Carrellas, an author, sexologist and sex educator who has been working with sex and gender diverse communities for more than 25 years. I have been in a primary relationship with Kate Bornstein, a non-binary trans woman for nearly 20 years. Here’s my background: https://barbaracarrellas.com/about-barbara-carrellas/

    In the mid-1990’s Chester Mainard and I created the Erotic Awakening Massages for People with Pussies and for People with Penises. These massages combined breath work and precise erotic, genital touch to create a unique erotic experience. In the course of observing and touching hundreds of genitals both in private sessions and in workshops, Chester and I became convinced that genitals themselves had no gender. They were all the same Jell-o poured into an infinite variety of Jell-o molds. We also discovered that being able to explore and discuss genitals and sexuality in safe, open spaces resulted in profound healings, shame reduction, and erotic empowerment.

    This past September I premiered my Erotic Awakening Massage for Sex and Gender Diversity—essentially the same massage, but designed for people of non-binary gender. In this massage we un-gendered genitals, which ceased being markers of any gender whatsoever. Genitals and surrounding muscles, nerves and so on were all simply unique bits of erotic tissue to be explored like an undiscovered land. The result was liberation, especially for the transpeople in the room. Suddenly, the genitals of transpeople were being discussed with the same ease and wonder and depth as we had been discussing everyone else’s genitals. Further, those workshops led to discussions among transpeople themselves—and a great deal of excitement.

    This is what inspired me to take this conversation to the next level with the survey.

    What am I going to do with your answers?

    The information provided by you and by others will help determine my decisions about how this information can best help people. My primary intention, as I have said, is to stimulate conversation on a worldwide level. I will also be using the information you give me for sex education purposes, such as workshops, books, blogs, forums, and peer education. I intend to share this information with the graduates and students of my Urban Tantra® Professional Training Program. This program has a high percentage of trans therapists, bodyworkers, sex educators, academics, artists, and other practitioners who, in turn, work with the trans community in many capacities. In general, it is my intention to make sex education more inclusive of trans bodies and trans sexualities.