• For the Un-Mothered on Mothers Day

    American culture can turn a well-intentioned holiday into a painful knife twist to the soul for anyone who doesn’t fit within the idealized demographic of a perfect family. Nowhere is this more pervasive and obvious than in the ritual observances of Mother’s Day.
    Have you ever stood in front of a long rack of Mother’s Day […]

  • Let’s Bust Some Myths

    I read two great articles recently. They both bust myths about what sex “should” be and what it “shouldn’t.” In doing so, they throw open the doors for all the things sex could be.
         One of the main reasons I wrote my book Ecstasy is Necessary was to help people understand they they weren’t broken or weird […]

  • A Survey of How Trans Women, Trans Men and People of Non-Binary Gender Experience Their Genitals

    Please help me make sex education more inclusive of trans bodies and trans sexualities. Please take my survey and/or invite others to take it. It’s important and it’s fun!


    Who is invited to take this survey?
    Anyone who identifies as a trans woman, trans man, non-binary, genderqueer, or in any way agender or gender non-conforming.
    Why are you […]

  • An Alternative to Columbus Day

    I am very troubled by this weekend’s Columbus Day holiday. I have been out of the country the past few Octobers, so I have been able to avoid the feelings of shame and embarrassment I feel about living in a country that continues to dedicate a holiday to a man responsible for the enslavement, brutalization […]

  • How to Take an Erotic Risk

    One of my favorite observations about great sex was made by sex therapist Jack Morin, who did extensive research on peak sexual experiences. Jack said that a peak sexual experience is the result of just the right combination of safety and risk. I couldn’t agree more.
    Think about a really hot sexual experience you have had. What made […]

  • How to Have an Ecstatic Solstice

    Stay in the present moment.
    Don’t try so hard. 
    Stay in the present moment. 
    Drop your expectations and your judgments. 
    Stay in the present moment. 
    Stay in the present moment. 
    Be conscious. 
    Stay in the present moment. 
    Practice doing all of this throughout your holidays…
    …in the present moment.

    Happy Solstice!
    With Love and Ecstasy from Barbara Carrellas and the international Urban Tantra Team:
    Hayley Caspers, Jazz […]