• Serving a community in need…

    I created Urban Tantra to serve a community that was desperately in need. I wanted, or rather needed, to create a safe space for my brothers during the AIDS crisis so that they could, once again, experience an ecstatic expression of life in a safe and supportive container.

    It was through Tantra that I became revitalized and empowered during this time of great grief. I could keep going, keep learning, keep teaching, and then bring my new skills back to my community. It shifted everything—my mindset, my career, my relationship to healing. It was huge!!

    It changed my life.

    That was 30 years ago. Today, Urban Tantra stays true to those roots.

    My main goal in creating the Urban Tantra Professional Training Program was to facilitate the teaching of these profound skills so that lives and relationships around the globe can be changed by this work.

    I’m dedicated to the expansion of this work. My mission is to give skills, training, and support to facilitators, practitioners, educators, healers, and leaders who serve communities and clients who are the most in need, underserved, at risk, and disconnected from the tools and knowledge of conscious sexuality. I love nothing more than to see the ripple of transformation grow.

    Here is what The Urban Tantra Training Program is all about:

    Tangible Transformation

    Accessible language, novel skills, and no dogma!

    I want you to walk away from the training able to create real change in your professional endeavors, no matter what your job entails. You’ll be given the tools to strengthen your unique talents, and make a bigger impact in your community and in the world

    Palpable Possibilities

    Facilitated ecstatic experience, embodied learning opportunities, and plenty of processing time.

    This program is a place for visioning, exploring, nourishing, and playing with various aspects of Tantra, sacred sexuality, sex education, and business to gain a deep understanding of the variety of directions that this work can support your larger goals.

    Better Boundaries, Ethics, & Consent

    At it’s core, Urban Tantra was built on a foundation of safer sex principles, sexual ethics, and clear boundaries.

    As leaders in the field of sexuality and intimacy, we must strive to be impeccable with our practices of boundaries and consent. We need to learn and practices these skills ourselves, create space for conversations about ethics and accountability, and be able to clearly communicate these teachings to our communities for the sexual empowerment and sexual freedom of all.

    Community Connection

    Global reach, continued support, and unique avenues for growth.

    I want you to succeed, but more importantly, I want you to succeed in your own way. I’ve graduated students from this program for over 8 years, and each one has a brilliantly unique way of engaging with Urban Tantra. Each generation of graduates gets connected with the larger community, their wisdom, and their resources. It truly is a diverse group of change agents, leaders, experts, and explorers!

    The Urban Tantra Professional Training Program

    24-29 July, 2018 in Greenwich, New York

    Find out more about the training here.

    Ready to Register?

    Click here to schedule your Urban Tantra Interview Call with our Program Coordinator.

    I hope to see you there.

  • Change Your Mood? Change Your Breath!

    Today, I want to share with you a 5-minute tool that has the power to totally transform your day. You can use it anytime, anywhere, and as much as you want. It’s my favorite way to recharge, gain perspective, and build erotic energy. It’s Breath!

    Breath is powerful. It can produce so much extraordinary pleasure it will amaze you. Once you become familiar with moving erotic energy around on your breath, you’ll find all your erotic encounters to be much more fulfilling. Your orgasms will be longer and deeper. Eventually you’ll find yourself using breath techniques in non-erotic situations to bring erotic energy to more and more areas of your life.

    Let me give you an example of how changing the way you breathe can change the way you feel. 

    (1) Sit comfortably.

    (2) You’re going to yawn. A yawn is your body’s way of asking for more air. More air means more aliveness. The next time someone yawns while you’re talking, don’t be offended; thank them. It means that they’re trying to be more present and alive for what you are saying.

    (3) Yawn. Try it. Let a really big yawn happen to you.

    Fake it until you feel it, but do not force it. Come as close as you can to a really big yawn.

    (4) Feel how the yawn opens the back of your throat and stretches out your whole mouth and face? That’s the feeling of openness you want. 

    (5) Now, breathe. Let your mouth fall open slightly. Relax your jaw and face, open the back of your throat and breathe in through your mouth, gently but fully. 

    (6) Exhale. Don’t push the breath out; just let it fall out with a gentle little sigh, ahhh.

    (7) Take in a much air as you can, as effortlessly as you can, then let it go.

    (8) Keep breathing. Continue for three minutes.

    (9) Notice how you are feeling.

    Do you feel any different from when you started?

    Are you a little dizzy now? Lightheaded? Spacey? Relaxed? Weird?

    Do you feel good? Or not?

    If the breath made you a little lightheaded, did that worry you? There’s no need for concern. Couldn’t you benefit from being a little lighter in the head? I know I could. 

    Changing the way you breathe produces a perceptible change in consciousness. It’s a physical reality. So, changing the way you breathe changes the way you feel. Sometimes it makes you feel out of control. Most of us walk around in this world trying to maintain total control over our bodies, to the extent that we have reduced our breathing to a level just deep enough to keep us going. It’s not just an individual choice—it’s cultural. Imagine this: You’re going to work one morning and just like always, you step into the crowded elevator. The door closes. But this morning someone in the rear of the car takes a huge deep breath and exhales with a loud AHHH! What do you think? What might everyone else think? Would that breath seem strange and out of place? Why? In response to a sex-negative, body-shy culture, we have reduced our breathing to a survival level. We take in just enough air to stay alive. 

    We unconsciously hold our breath many times each day. In fact, holding our breath is usually the first thing we do when we don’t want to lose control of some situation. It’s part of a reflex we all seem to have that causes us to tense up and “get through this.” Unfortunately, it’s also the technique most of us use when we “try” to have an orgasm. We bear down, hold our breath, and try to “make” ourselves come. Sure, you can have an orgasm that way. Most of us have. But deep, full, extended orgasms happen more easily and naturally as a result of the dance between tension and release, contraction and expansion. 

    When used consciously, both tensing up and holding your breath can lead to a mind-blowing orgasm after the body has been charged up with lots of breath. Energy pathways will open up, and the orgasmic energy can travel where we direct it. There’s a difference between the kind of orgasm you have after a five-minute masturbation quickie under the covers when you’re trying not to make any noise and after a loud, passionate, energetic romp with a hot lover. In the former instance, the orgasm is primarily happening in and around your genitals. That’s as far as the orgasmic energy can travel in a short time with minimal breath. In the latter instance, the orgasm may feel like it is happening all over your body and shooting out the top of your head. That’s what happens when your energy pathways have been opened up and you have expanded to allow more energy. 

    The amount of breath involved is not the only reason for the difference between these two orgasms. In the second example we also added the energy-building elements of movement, sound, and a partner. However, when we move, make sounds, and relate with another person, we also breathe more, exponentially increasing the energizing effects.

    Changing the way you breathe will sometimes produce an extreme change of consciousness, so it pays to discover which kinds of breathing will produce which kinds of changes of consciousness.

    Do you want to explore the potential of breath more deeply?

    Join me in New York City for my most popular one day workshop: 

    Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the 21st Century 

    Saturday, September 10th

    10am – 5:30pm

    Urban Tantra® is a radically updated Tantra practice for modern sexual/spiritual explorers that can be used by everyone. Tantra is not only a sexual practice; it is a way of life and a path to spiritual growth. On the Tantric path, pleasure, vision and ecstasy are celebrated and can be found in both everyday life and in peak sexual experiences.  Develop deep, heart-centered connections (with a partner or within ourselves), and explore the bliss that comes when our spiritual and sexual paths are one.

    Note: This workshop does not include nudity or explicit sexual touch. All genders, sexual preferences, and relationship structures welcome.

  • I’m Launching a Brand New Series of Workshops: The Urban Tantra Experience

    A New York Magazine pick for a perfect holiday gift!

    UTE Best Sally copy

    You told me what you wanted, and I listened!

    I’ve created a new series for all of you who asked for longer, more in-depth Urban Tantra workshops. The Urban Tantra Experience premieres in April at Eastover Estate and Retreat in Lenox, MA—a beautiful retreat center in the Berkshires in Western Massachusetts.

    Why look any further for that special holiday gift? What could be lovelier than a spring weekend of Tantra in the mountains?

    The Urban Tantra Experience: Breath and Touch
    Rejuvenate your relationship in the Berkshires. The Urban Tantra Experience is an approach to sacred sexuality that adapts and blends conscious sexuality practices from Tantra to BDSM into a hot and healing brand of sex for the 21st century sensualist. Learn the secrets for giving and receiving a body-melting, mind-altering, sensual and erotic massage. You’ll also learn how conscious breath and energy work can transform touch into a deeply intimate ecstatic encounter. All genders and sexual preferences welcome.

    Register here:  www.urbantantraexperience.com

    17-18-19 April 2015
    Friday 7:00 pm – 9:30 pm
    Saturday 10 am – 5 pm
    Sunday 10 am – 3 pm

    $840 – $1200 (depending on choice of room) Includes food and lodging.

  • Conscious Sexuality and Gender

    Today we have a guest post by my friend and colleague, Artemisia de Vine, conscious sex worker, kink practitioner and author of the upcoming book, “Lessons from a Whore”. www.consciouseroticarts.com and www.consciouskink.com. Artemesia and other graduate members of the Urban Tantra® Professional Training Program frequently discuss the practical applications of seeing  gender beyond the binary of masculine/feminine. Here Artemesia shares her recent “Ah hah!” moment. I think it’s beautifully stated. Thanks, Artemesia!

    So excited that I was finally able to articulate something that is so important to me. Funny how I can instinctively know something for years but just can’t put it in words…so I get all frustrated and hot under the collar because I know it really matters but can’t communicate it properly, even to myself. I can just feel that damage is being done and it needs to change. Suddenly it is so simple and I can just say it.

    Worshipping the gender binaries of masculine and feminine encourages us all to project stereotypes onto each other rather than be present and truly see, experience and connect with ourselves and each other. Today I’m making the effort to approach each individual person as a unique being I know nothing about and allow them to unfold in front of me like the exquisite mystery they are.

    Yes there will likely be recognizable gendered patterns that emerge but the difference is, I will allow them to emerge naturally rather than assume they are there in the first place. That way I won’t miss the times when they are not there. I won’t be blind to the unique combination of characteristics in each person. I will unconsciously assume power dynamics less often…

    Feeling into myself in each moment and experiencing what is… What’s there beyond gendered boxes? The words “masculine” and “feminine” are being banned from my vocabulary today so I can see and be beyond them.