Current Newsletter


Barbara Carrellas/Urban Tantra Newsletter
August 2015


No matter what kind of relationship you want to nurture—including your relationship to yourself—there are inevitable potholes along the way that can slow you down. One of the most common potholes is falling into unconscious routines.

1) Do you have sex (with a partner or with yourself) the same way almost very time?

2) Are the things that used to turn you and your partner on not working anymore?

3) Do you always order the same thing at your favorite restaurant?

If you answered yes, you need to break out and—take a risk!

One of my favorite observations about great sex was made by sex therapist Jack Morin, who has done extensive research on peak sexual experiences. Jack said that a peak sexual experience is the result of just the right combination of safety and risk. I couldn’t agree more.

Think about a really hot sexual experience you have had. What made you feel safe enough to let go? What made it risky enough to be exciting? Learning to create sexual experiences with the perfect balance of safety and risk can transform your sexual encounters into ecstatic experiences. 

Before you start taking new sexual risks you’ll want to create a safety net. This is not the kind of safety your mother meant when she called after you, “Be careful!” as you left the house. If your mother was anything like mine, that “Be careful” meant “Don’t do anything risky.” As you no doubt remember, the risky things your mom warned you about were always the most fun. In the realm of ecstatic and erotic experiences, they still are. Keep Reading.


If you are looking to cultivate more ecstasy in your life, deepen your relationships (to yourself or to partners), or expand your erotic possibilities, I invite you to join me for my intensive weekend workshop—The Urban Tantra Experience: Breath, Touch, and Power, in Melbourne, Australia from 4 - 6 Sept. & Stockholm, Sweden from 30 Oct. - 1 Nov.—and for my other upcoming workshops in New York, Melbourne, and London.