Jun 21 2018
The solstices are my favorite holidays, probably because they are celebrations of the sun—my favorite celestial body. I’m in New York right now and we are having the first really hot summer days of the many yet to come. The long days and the short nights energize my spirit and light a fire under my creative juices. This month I’ve been spending a lot of time in video conversations with my Australian friends, which means that I’m also acutely away of how dark and cold it is in the Southern Hemisphere.
The contrast between the constant stream of hideous news about the actions of the openly hostile, cruel and reactionary American government, and the beauty of New York in June has me thinking about what we humans can learn from simply observing what happens on the Solstices.
Solstices show us that our entire planet is based upon sharing resources—in this case, the sun—and trusting that we will always have enough sunlight, even if temporarily, someone else has more. We share the sun and it’s light and energy with everyone else on the planet. Some months, the north gets more and the south less. Then it’s the south’s turn for heat and light, while the north patiently awaits it next season of warm weather and sunshine. Sharing. Trusting. Knowing that when the sun goes to nourish my friends in the south, there will still be enough for me to thrive throughout the winter. Being assured by experience that in a few months the sun will come back warm and strong to delight me once again.
This Solstice, I’d like us to remember that whether the sun is shining brightly in your life at the moment, or whether life has been pretty dark and cold lately, this too will pass. My invitation to you is to look at someplace in your life where you have an abundance of something—it could be money, food, friends, happiness, love, creativity, time, laughter, hope, health, passion, political power, activist skills or something else entirely—and share some of it with someone whose sun is shining less brightly right now. This does not have to be a huge effort. It can be just reaching out to one person. If we all do this, we can shift global consciousness out of fear, lack and retreat and into trust, abundance and love.
Share the sunlight. Spread love not fear.
Apr 18 2018
Where can you go to engage in deep, meaningful conversations about love, pleasure, bodies, pop culture, and empathy?
I’m always looking for important and relevant events and conversations to share with you. This is one of those things!
Explore More Summit is a free online conference that I adore. It’s a place where we can ask big questions, find ways to get unstuck, and have fun while we do it.
It kicks off on April 23, 2018 and runs for ten days, entirely online. You can check out the speaker line-up at exploremoresummit.com.
Each day, several hour-long video interviews will be available for you to watch.
Even better? If you register before the summit starts, you’ll also get a free mini workbook each day of the summit full of prompts, questions, and exercises designed to help you reflect on your own story, needs, and desires.
From pleasure and pop culture, kink to self-acceptance, boundaries to comedy, this is a rich, intimate event and I am really excited to share it with you.
Plus, you can’t beat free.
There’s also a private Facebook group where you can talk to other participants, answer daily questions, and interact with some of the summit experts.
These interviews are the kind of thing you’ll want to talk about and revisit over and over again – so share this with your friends and family, too.
See you at the summit!
PS – If you’re as busy as I am, ten days might seem like a lot. Don’t worry about trying to fit it all in. You can take the talks home to watch and re-watch at your leisure AND get some fabulous bonuses, too.
Mar 01 2012
“Thinking Off” or How to Have a Breath and Energy Orgasm
If you are one of the many people who saw my segment, “Unusual Orgasms” on the Learning Channel’s Strange Sex show, welcome! Here are answers to some of your frequently asked questions:
1. I do not use the term “thinking off.”
“Thinking off” is the term the producers of the show wanted to use, but that term is much too limiting. Non-genitally based orgasms are achieved by different people in different ways, but very few people use only their minds to achieve these orgasms. The kind of orgasms you saw me and my workshop participants have on Strange Sex were achieved with a combination of breath, imagining (either by visualization or sensory feelings), sound, and squeezing the muscles of the pelvic floor. Sound complicated? It’s not really. It just takes a little practice.
2. How can I learn to “think off”?
Subscribe to my newsletter! You’ll get two free gifts, including “How To Have An Energy Orgasm”. You can more detailed instructions and additional ways to have a breath and energy orgasm in my book, Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century. There is an entire section devoted to breath and energy orgasms. I am also in the process of recording a step-by-step CD guide to accompany the breath and energy orgasm section of the book. Sign up for my newsletter and you will be among the first to hear when it’s finished. I also teach the technique in many of my workshops. Check out my calendar of events to find out where I will be when.
3. I have spinal nerve damage and I can’t have regular orgasms. Can I have one with this technique?
Yes! The technique can also be used by people with erectile dysfunction, women who have had clitorectomies, and anyone with a physical condition that makes genital orgasms difficult or impossible.
4. I missed the show. Will it be on again?
Yes! It’s being rerun fairly regularly. Visit the Learning Channel for the schedule.
5. Where else can I learn about “thinking off”?
Watch this video of Barbara talking to Joy Behar about “thinking off.”
Questions? Want to host a breath and energy orgasm workshop in your town?
Contact me at email@example.com.