Feb 172016
 

I read two great articles recently. They both bust myths about what sex “should” be and what it “shouldn’t.” In doing so, they throw open the doors for all the things sex could be.

     One of the main reasons I wrote my book Ecstasy is Necessary was to help people understand they they weren’t broken or weird just because their desire(s) didn’t match the standard that was being help up as normal in the media that week. In this post—The Desire Myth—noted sexologist Cyndi Darnell writes:

  • If you could take a pill to want more of something you don’t want, would you take it?
  • If you could take a pill to make yourself watch sports when you were actually just into painting, would you do it?
  • If you could take a pill to make grocery shopping more exciting would you take it every time you needed supplies?
  • If you don’t particularly like something or you don’t want it, in most circumstances we would agree that not doing it would be perfectly reasonable.
  • Except when it comes to sex.
         We live in a society that tells us that if we don’t want sex, there  is something wrong with us; that we are broken or damaged in some way. We become afraid that it may spell disaster for our relationships or will change the way potential lovers may feel about us...  Read more of The Desire Myth here...

         Another reason I wrote Ecstasy is Necessary was to help people learn to take an erotic risk. I found that by writing about some edgy things that I had explored, I gave people permission to explore their own erotic edges. In that spirit, I want to introduce you to sex educator Mollena Lee Williams-Hass who has written and spoken extensively on the difference between racism and Race Play. What is Race Play? Mollena defines it as any type of play that openly embraces and explores the (either “real” or assumed) racial identity of the players within the context of a BDSM scene. The prime motive in a “Race Play” scene is to underscore and investigate the challenges of racial or cultural differences. Read the in-depth interview here...

         Both Mollena and Cyndi are graduates and team members of the Urban Tantra® Professional Training Program. In this—our signature program—we bust the myths about sexuality not only during the 6-day program, but on a daily basis thereafter.  If you’d like to bust some myths with us and join one of the most supportive and powerful sexual communities in the world, join us in New York City from 11-16 June 2016.  Don’t live nearby? We’ll be announcing dates and opening registration for Sydney, Australia soon!

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